My experiences and observations commuting on the long island rail road. To sum it up, What a Dump..

Monday, September 26, 2005

Middle Aged and Bored

as i figured, it's already been a doozy of a day. the morning ride in is usually OK. i get on at an early stop, there's usually plenty of seats.. people are mostly quiet, i pass the fuck out. things are OK. but not today my friends. i'll admit, i got to the train station a little late. OK, my fault. so i had to settle for what my brother and i like to call the 'talking seats'. these are the seats that face each other on the newer LIRR trains. we call them the talking seats because it seems there is a small population in the commuting public, that literally wait in the same spot everyday, get on the same car everyday (all at different stops, they don't get on at once, they form like voltron sort of) and talk with each other in the talking seats each day. they are loud, they are obnoxious and for the most part, a real pain in the ass when you're sitting nearby and trying to rest.

so, i knew what i might be in for. i just had a speck of hope that this particular talking seat was not one frequented by a group of 'locals'. right as i sat down, a woman looked at me, then quickly sat down in the direct opposite talking seat. now, i had a feeling she was like, damn.. a stranger is among us. but i can't totally read minds so i still had a glimmer of hope she wasn't part of a crew. well, turns out she was. i knew it as we pulled into the next station. there he was, the loud and extremely talkative leader of this set. i've seen him before. i've cursed him before. him and his two other middle aged, married, overly joyous in the morning friends are always loud, and always talking about dumb shit. i then realized the woman, was the woman i had noticed before to be in their crew. they all have rings on their fingers, but the three men use this woman for dirty kicks each day and from what i've seen, she uses them back. makes you wonder about your wife that commutes to the city each day doesn't it?

anyway, i had about 10 minutes of peace (just myself and the lady) until the rest of the crew rolled up on the set and the next stop. the rest of the trip i was forced to listen to news i heard yesterday, and dumb 30 something's discussing it. and may i stress dumb here? first of all, we live in the internet age man.. where we get our news on the minute. friggin pull up cnn.com a few times a day assholes. i don't need to hear about a second shark attack in florida this morning, i read it at 9 am yesterday. The talking seats are bad man. i suggest avoiding sitting near them at all costs. OK, so i had to deal with some middle aged chatter boxes that enjoy getting extra-marital kicks on the train in the morning.. could be worse right? well it got worse. The LIRR occasionally likes to stop short.. you know, hold down the brakes and not move for a while. it's all in good fun i guess. this time however, it seems we stopped to get some instructions. our mission has changed.. we are no longer scheduled to go straight to good ol penn station. no sir. it is now our mission to stop at an unscheduled location and pick up a entire train full of stranded commuters. Their train is what the long island railroad likes to call 'disabled'. which is a nice way of saying 'fucking broke man'. disabled trains are all over the place in the long island railroad system, as i'm sure we'll get into as this blog moves through the weeks and months. disabled trains cause me much trouble at minimum once every 2 weeks. It's funny really. funny to the point i want to shoot myself in the nuts. but i digress.. Here we are, sitting at a train station we're supposed to just fly right past, waiting for the 'disabled' train to limp on through. where we then get to realize the true meaning of the word uncomfortable, as an entire train full of vagabonds squeeze their fat asses onto ours. anyway, you get the point.. this whole process added an extra 30 minutes to my already ridiculous commute and got me to work late. Now i'm lucky enough to have to make up for that time by staying longer in the office tonight. Thank you long island railroad. another day, another pain in the ass from you. and i've yet to ride home today.

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